


full of terror; full of beauty

by guardyanangel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: But it's very brief & most of this is just Soft, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Gen, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Other Marauders mentioned, POV First Person, Suicidal Thoughts, brief mention of - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27340327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guardyanangel/pseuds/guardyanangel
Summary: Sirius' best man speech. A purely self-indulgent, unbetad gift for a friend.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter
Kudos: 15





	full of terror; full of beauty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Puzzle_with_Infinite_Pieces](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puzzle_with_Infinite_Pieces/gifts).



> This really is written for two whole people in the world; I hope the rest of you who stumble upon it enjoy it even if you aren't them.

Prongs and Lily, married at last. I know I’m not the first to say it, but I never thought I’d live to see the day. And I could lean into the oft-told joke of how we didn’t think the two of you would ever happen, or how well it would work out-- but if you will permit me to be serious in more than just name, for once, I have to confess that when I say it, it’s more true than one might think it to be. 

You see, I really  _ didn’t  _ think I’d live to see this day. Everyone who knows me knows I’m not always the most cautious, and that more often than not my brain decides to work against me. So when I say that I did not think I’d live to see the day, what I mean is-- I didn’t think I’d be alive to see this. I was so sure that someday before we got here, I either would have made a stupid decision that would’ve kept me from being here, or, even more likely and even more dangerous, I would have made the decision somewhere along the way that I didn’t want to be alive, at all.

But I am alive to see this. And the reason I am alive is because of people in this room who have helped me to make it to this day. Who have supported me through my best and worst decisions. Who have held me when I cried and distracted me when I didn’t want to be crying. I am here, alive, to see this because my dearest friends did their damnedest to make sure I would be. And while it was definitely the work of more than just the two of them, it  _ is  _ James and Lily’s day, so if Remus and Peter will forgive me, I’m going to focus on how the two of them have helped to make sure I survived.

James-- I know today  _ I’m  _ the best man, but overall you are truly the best man I have ever known. I know I’m probably stroking your ego more than I should to say it, but it’s the truth. We met one another when we were young and unfinished, and somehow through knowing one another, we managed to become something I’d dare hazard to say is good. I know you credit me and Remus and Peter and Lily with making you a better person-- because Merlin knows you had a lot to learn about how not to be a git, when we first met-- but at least for the two of us, we made one another better. We learned together, and we grew together, and so much of what I know now about goodness, I learned from you. From you, I learned how better to use my own privilege to help improve the world. From you, I learned what it means to have a family that actually loves you. From you, I learned how to be brave better than being in Gryffindor ever could have taught me to. And, among the greatest of blessings you have given me-- from you I have learned how to actually, genuinely like myself, more days than I used to. Because for whatever strange, unfathomable reason, you have liked me as I am in all the ways that I have been. You have always made me feel like enough, and that has always made me want to be better than I felt myself to be. I would not be who I am now if I hadn’t known you, and I thank you for every blessing that you have ever given me in all the years we have known one another.

One of those blessings being the blessing of knowing Lily, of course. Lily, when we first met, I thought you would be more than any of us could handle. You were a firecracker, whip-smart, and beautiful, to boot. James certainly wasn’t the only one who had to pick his jaw up off the floor after meeting you. And you are still all of those things-- bold and beautiful and braver than probably any of us (you ARE marrying James, after all) but what I think we all love most about you is your incredibly good heart. You see the best in everyone-- including and especially those who don’t deserve it-- and you challenge us all to think the better of everyone we meet. Your kindness is just as blinding as your  _ Lumos, _ and while I confess I’m still working on possessing even a fraction of your optimism, I can’t help but at least try to be positive when I am around you.

And so, I will try to be positive, now: Because even though the world out there is a bloody terrifying mess-- Even though things are changing, things are dangerous, and things are uncertain... Here we still are, having a wedding. We’re gathered together to celebrate love, and we’re being hopeful that we’ll make it through all of this long enough to see that love continue to be celebrated. And I have to say that here, now, in this moment-- I am feeling that love. I am feeling that hope. Because I am here, alive, to see this day that I did not think I would live to see, and it is because of the two people we are celebrating today. Two of my dearest friends, two of the best people I have never known-- Lily and James Potter, the bride and groom. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title is taken from this prayer/poem/quote by Gunilla Norris in her book Becoming Bread. A church my friend and I used to go to used it all the time, and although my spiritual feelings having changed, I still resonate with its meaning:
> 
> "Having shared our bread, we know that we are no longer hungry. It is enough that you see me for myself. That I see you for yourself. That we bless what we see and do not borrow, do not use one another. This is how we know we are no longer hungry...that the world is full of terror, full of beauty and yet we are not afraid to find solace here. To be bread for each other. Amen."


End file.
